Is There A Doctor In The ER?

For a hypochondriac and overall worry wart, I have an amazing addiction to hospital shows. ER, Scrubs, House and lately, Grey's Anatomy. I can pick out the really good doctors easily, they're the grouchy ones. Sweet and cuddly as the nice ones are, their incompetence will kill you in a second. If you're ever in an ER request the meanest, surliest, most arrogant SOB in the hospital to work on you. You'll either get their finest, top-notch doctor or the janitor, which is still better than the interns.  

I have been mesmerized in horror as the unfortunate patients have arrived night after night. Diagnosis: Bear attack, encasement in cement, impaled with an icicle, and worms on the brain!! And where are the doctors and interns? They're all making out in the "On Call" room. Now I know where the term "Call Girl" originated.